Posted by Chad M. on Saturday, September 24, 2011 ? Leave a Comment?
?I?m being played by?WHO??
When will Hol?ly?wood?learn?
Details on the upcom?ing Mass Effect film (I hes?i?tate to call it a ?motion pic?ture event? as so many Hol?ly?wood types like to call their moviefilms) have begun pop?ping up of late (includ?ing our own arti?cle, some of which has been refuted by Leg?endary Pic?tures? recent Q&A). Now there are cer?tain details that cer?tain sec?tions of the Mass Effect fan?base will not take kindly to; my pur?pose isn?t to point out those things. My mis?sion here is to point out why this film, even so early on, has a minute chance of being worth a?damn.
?So I guess hav?ing a strong female lead isn?t cool in Sci Fi. We bet?ter inform Ellen Rip?ley and Honor Harrington.?
First, let?s con?sider the 800 pound gorilla in the room of any video game to film adap?ta?tion? there hasn?t yet been a decent video game movie.? Start?ing with Super Mario Bros., which seemed to have taken the plumber?s con?sump?tion of mush?rooms to heart, video game adap?ta?tions have been relent?lessly bad. Some have been enjoy?ably bad, like Street Fighter (Raul Julia was clearly hav?ing a great time as Bison) and Mor?tal Kom?bat, which remains a guilty plea?sure. Then there have been the irre?deemably bad such as Wing Com?man?der and Doom, and even the laugh?ably bad but finan?cially suc?cess?ful Res?i?dent Evil series. Prob?a?bly the best video game movie so far has been Silent Hill, which was visu?ally and aurally?per?fect but ruined by chang?ing the game?s Love?craft?ian cult to a fun?da?men?tal?ist Chris?t?ian sect that was ripped right out of one of Stephen King?s sto?ries, not to men?tion hir?ing Sean Bean and com?pletely wast?ing his tal?ents. Prince of Per?sia couldn?t even be saved by hav?ing the series? cre?ator writ?ing the script, turn?ing an excit?ing, action and park?our filled romp into a flac?cid bore of a film that mostly involved wan?der?ing the desert for 40 years. And this of course, is with?out men?tion Uwe Boll?s oevure (Uweure?) which can, and has, filled entire pages.
Lest we forget.
So for starters, we have that work?ing against it. In addi?tion, you have the removal of player choice. Of course, this is in a series where your choices can have far-reaching and nerve-wracking effects (Vir?mire, any?one?). We?ve all played our own unique Com?man?der Shep?ards. Male and female, paragon and rene?gade, reporter punch?ers and non-punchers, and so on. So?those of us who played and enjoyed the Mass Effect series are expected to sit back and enjoy some?one elses inter?pre?ta?tion? Of course not. We?re going to be yelling at the screen, chuck?ing our five-dollar sodas and say?ing ?NO! NO! THAT?S NOT HOW MY SHEPARD ACTS! MY SHEPARD HAS HAIR, DAMMIT!? and of course, ?YOU SAVED THAT WIENER KAIDAN?? While this may seem like an over?re?ac?tion, it?s in fact the reac?tion we should have. BioWare spent a lot of time mak?ing sure we care about and iden?tify with our per?sonal Com?man?der Shep?ard. One of the hall?marks of the West?ern RPG is the abil?ity to define your char?ac?ter through their actions, and BioWare has got?ten damned good at this over the years. So?are we ready to hand over our class, gen?der, align?ment and prob?a?bly most dan?ger?ous, love inter?est choices over to some?one?else?
Because in Mass Effect, who you?re dat?ing is SERIOUS BUSINESS.
Now, the Mass Effect nov?els (at?least the one I read)?have actu?ally done a good job of exist?ing out?side the game?s sto?ry?line (act?ing effec?tively as pre?quels, the first one cov?er?ing a young Anderson?s sto?ry?line). I guess I don?t see why the film can?t take a sim?i?lar route, explor?ing the rich, cool, richly cool uni?verse BioWare has cre?ated with?out per?form?ing a sto?ry?line copy?pasta. And if you think there?s no prece?dent for a BioWare game being given a ter?ri?ble adap?ta?tion by a bad writer?oho, are you wrong. Oh, are you so freakin? wrong.
This actu?ally goes back to the nov?el?iza?tions of BioWare?s first RPGs, the Baldur?s Gate games. Like many Dun?geons and Drag?ons prop?er?ties of the time, it was given a nov?el?iza?tion. But rather than hand the job to some?one like R.A. Sal?va?tore (i.e. some?one with gen?uine tal?ent), it was given to TSR?s For?got?ten Realms novel edi?tor Philip Athans, prov?ing the old adage that edi?tors should not write (I kid! ?I love ya Marty, Dec, Pas?cal). And what does he do with this tale of the shel?tered lad/lass from Can?dle?keep, and his merry band of mis?fits? Oh, tis a sad tale. The blank-slate whelp hero becomes a socio?pathic (and expe?ri?enced) mer?ce?nary. Yeah, that?s what hap?pened in the 90?s. Your edi?tor spends too much time read?ing Young?blood comics and he?s like ?screw this well-crafted plot and char?ac?ters! Our hero?s gotta be a pouch-wearin?, shoulder-padded badass!?
I quote one of the best, and most damn?ing reviews of the novel from Amazon:
What we have here is a very poor novel which takes place in a world where the
places have the same names as that in Baldur?s Gate, and the char?ac?ters do but
noth?ing else is even the?same.
?I didn?t expect it to be THAT bad. SHEPARD.?
Even after that abom?inable embar?rass?ment, there man?aged to be an even worse sequel (which is quite funny, con?sid?er?ing how great a sequel Baldur?s Gate II was as a game.). What did Imoen ever do to you, Athans??And there?s a les?son in that, too. Even if the movie sucks, it?s prob?a?bly gonna make a but?t?load of money and there will be a sequel which will swirl the care?fully crafted set?ting of the game even fur?ther down the cin?e?matic toi?let. Like I said, it doesn?t have to be good to make money? Res?i?dent Evil proves this, Twi?light proves it, Avatar proves it.
Heck, I?d almost rather see it not be taken seri?ously, as generic frat?boy Shep?ard flies his inter?galac?tic Delta House Nor?mandy around the Galaxy, shootin? stuff, fist?bump?ing his bro?heims and scor?ing with alien chicks. See, that would be so com?pletely awful that it would actu?ally be worth seeing.
Filed under Editorials, Features ? Tagged with BioWare, ea, electronic arts, film, games, gaming, legendary pictures, Mass Effect, motion picture, movie, opinion, video game movies
Source: http://bnbgaming.com/2011/09/24/why-the-mass-effect-movie-will-probably-suck/
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